30 Traits of Narcissism

We have all faced relationship difficulties at different points throughout our lives. Whether it be with a friend, partner, spouse, colleague, sibling, cousin, parent, child or manager/boss, these relational difficulties can range from mild to extremely toxic, dysfunctional and abusive. Many times the reason for the extreme relationship difficulties is the presence of narcissism. Being in contact with a narcissist can be very damaging to your mental health and well-being. Depending on the level of contact you have with a narcissist, it can often lead to extreme depression and anxiety due to experiencing narcissistic abuse. Narcissism is a serious mental health condition. Being in contact with a narcissist is like experiencing the “second hand smoke” from the narcissistic “smoke”.

It can be very helpful to know whether this person you are having difficulties with is a narcissist or not, because it can inform how you manage the difficult and challenging relationship you are in.

To clarify specifically what it is, here is a list of 30 traits of Narcissism:

1. Lack of Empathy
2. Grandiose
3. Entitled
4. Manipulative
5. Angry and Rageful
6. Paranoid
7. Hypersensitive
8. Jealous
9. Lack of Guilt / Lack of Insight
10. Needs Constant Admiration and Validation
11. Lying
12. Everything is a Show
13. Projection
14. Greedy
15. Emotionally Cold
16. Gaslighting (leaves you feeling as if you are “losing your mind”)
17. Cheap
18. Never Takes Responsibility
19. Vain
20. Controlling
21. Unpredictable
22. Takes Advantage of Others (or you) on a Regular Basis
23. Engages in Schaedenfraude (Reveling in Others’ Misery)
24. Does not like to be alone
25. Poor Boundaries
26. Infidelity
27. Doesn’t Listen
28. Fragile
29. Careless
30. Seductive

 

If you know someone who has 15 or more traits, they are likely to be a narcissist.
If you know someone who has 20 or more traits, they are most likely a narcissist.

To learn more about Narcissism, a book recommendation is “Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist” written by Ramini Durvasula.