Do you have an anxious attachment style?

If you agree with most of the following statements, it is likely that you have an anxious attachment style when it comes to relationships.

I often worry that my partner will stop loving me.
I fear that once someone gets to know the real me, he/she won’t like who I am.
When I’m not involved in a relationship, I feel somewhat anxious and incomplete.
When my partner is away, I’m afraid that he/she might become interested in someone else.
When I show my partner how I feel, I’m afraid he/she will not feel the same about me.
I think about my relationships a lot.
I tend to get very quickly attached to a romantic partner.
I am very sensitive to my partner’s moods.
I worry that if my partner leaves me I might never find someone else.
During a conflict, I tend to impulsively do or say things I later regret, rather than be able to reason about things.
I worry that I’m not attractive enough.
If I notice that someone I’m interested in is checking out other people, it makes me feel depressed.
If someone I’ve been dating begins to act cold and distant, I’ll worry that I’ve done something wrong.
If my partner was to break up with me, I’d try my best to show her/him what he/she is missing (a little jealousy can’t hurt).

Having an anxious attachment style means you love to be very close to your romantic partners and have the capacity for great intimacy. You often fear, however, that your partner does not wish to be as close as you would like him/her to be. Relationships tend to consume a large part of your emotional energy. You tend to be very sensitive to small fluctuations in your partner’s moods and actions, and although your senses are often accurate, you take your partner’s behaviors too personally. You experience a lot of negative emotions within the relationship and get easily upset. As a result, you tend to act out and say things you later regret. If the other person provides a lot of security and reassurance, however, you are able to shed much of your preoccupation and feel content.

If you relate to this attachment style, you may want to learn more from a book entitled “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love”, written by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller.