Relationship Check In

Communication is an essential part of a relationship.

When there is a lack of communication or disrespectful communication within a relationship, it can negatively impact the relationship and the mental health of the two individuals. In contrast, practicing healthy and respectful communication can significantly improve the health of a relationship and the mental health of the two individuals in the relationship.

A relationship check in is when two people in a relationship connect through respectful communication with each other. Connection through communication is the key to a relationship check in.

Setting up a relationship check in involves intentionally and deliberately setting aside some time to communicate with your partner in an environment free from distraction. Both people in the relationship ideally know ahead of time that there will be a relationship check in at a particular time. Finding the time for a relationship check in can often be a challenge, especially when there are children in the family to attend to and other life stressors and pressures to deal with. Keep in mind, we make time and prioritize what is important to us. So if the health of your relationship is important to you, you will make time to communicate with your partner through a relationship check in. If the health of your relationship is not important to you and not a priority, it will be a real challenge to find time for a relationship check in.

Here are some ideas for discussion as part of a relationship check in:

  • What are you thankful for or appreciate about your partner/spouse?
  • What do you love about your partner/spouse?
  • What are 5 individual needs you each have within your relationship?
  • What would you like more of from your partner?
  • How do you both think the relationship is going?
  • Is there anything that bothers you within your relationship?
  • What is your favorite memory from your relationship?

 

Here are some further key guidelines to follow when completing a relationship check in:

  • When your partner is speaking make sure that you truly listen and do not speak over him/her. If you can, try to summarize what your partner has said to make sure you have understand him/her correctly and to make your partner feel heard and understood.
  • Keep the discussion and topic of conversation specific to the relationship and do not start talking about children, family or work etc.
  • Communication is words, body language and tone. Speak respectfully with your words, maintain an open body posture with eye contact and speak in a calm tone with appropriate volume.
  • Remove mobile phones from the room to avoid a distraction.

 

Here are some key benefits of a relationship check in when done correctly:

  1. Each person will gain a greater understanding of their partner.
  2. There will be greater respect and love within the relationship.
  3. Communication can be practiced and developed.
  4. Emotional closeness and intimacy can be developed within the relationship.
  5. Relationship satisfaction is likely to improve over time.